This movie isn’t perfect but it’s certainly not as good as its potential. I think a lot of how much you’ll get out of the movie depends on your enjoyment of Jason Patric’s turn as the bad guy, but more on that later. If you need to get moving and not read the whole of this review, just know that there’s some mindless yet rather enthralling action peppered throughout this completely disposable flick along with an absolutely scene stealing performance from Captain America himself, Chris Evans. I could almost recommend seeing the film just to witness how bad ass Evans is but overall, I’m going to say that this is one of those films that’s best watched at home as a rental. But let’s get into more of the film before shutting things down shall we?

The Losers, although I’m not sure they’re referred to that throughout the movie now that I think about it, is a group of five military dudes each with their own speciality. One is a geek (Evans), one is a sniper (Oscar Jaenada), one loves knives (Idris Elba), one is like a driver or something (Columbus Short), and the other is the leader (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). The movie opens with the group “doing a job” in Bolivia. All they have to do is lace a giant mansion with a targeting system and a bunch of jets will make it go boom. But when the team notices a group of children entering the residence (quickly explained as mules), they desperately attempt to abort the mission. The person on the other end of the line, Max (Patric), refuses to stand down the jets and this forces the team to do an emergency evac. In the process, they learn that it was Max’s intention to have them all killed and so they kind of fake their own deaths and start “living la vida loca” while hiding from “the man.” When a completely ominous woman comes into their lives (Zoe Saldana) offering to bring them back to America to exact revenge on Max. Then shit go boom, plots get twisted, characters change allegiances, and Jason Patric goes off the reservation.

It’s not that this sort of plot is stupid or anything; I was actually kind of hoping for just a straight forward action flick. While that’s what I got, sometimes a little more is required. I also couldn’t help but see comparisons to another film that screenwriter Peter Berg worked on- The Rundown. For those not learned up on their Rock and Stifler buddy-action flicks, that film involved the two befriending a rather ominous female (Rosario Dawson) in a setting set south of the border in order to take on a scenery devouring Christopher Walken. It was undoubtedly a lot of fun but completely formulaic. Hell, I think The Rock even got to say, “I’m not that guy any more,” before deciding to take the job. I don’t recall dialog of that calibre, but rest assured that nothing in The Losers will be unfamiliar territory. I just think that while that’s a welcome thing at times, it really works against itself here.

So let’s talk about that Jason Patric for a second. From the introductory scene where one of his henchman mistakes his subtle head movement as a “throw them off the roof” nod as opposed to a “punch him in the face” nod, you pretty much know what you’re in for with this guy. Some folks have questioned whether Patric showed up with the same script as the rest of the actors but even if that’s the case, the role still worked for me. I’ll be frank- I love really big assholes in movies and this dude is no exception. Max is a money hungry, biggoted, straight up classic movie asshole archetype. He even wears a glove on his left hand and beguiles a man for being short. But the reason I love characters like this is because you just know they’re going to get a mouth full of manure at some point. It’s comforting and all circle of life-type shit really. You can enjoy this horrible excuse for a human because you know by the time the end credits roll, he’ll get his. That said, Patric’s performance is going to be hit or miss for a lot of folks and is sure to fuel a number of negative reviews. I see it as the guy having a good time on an absolutely goofy-as-shit movie and nothing more.

And then there’s Chris Evans. I can only imagine that this film was shown to Marvel as a demo reel of how awesome this dude can be since he really steals the show. Jokes that should fall flat on their face are made funny with Evans’ impeccable timing. Maybe it was the fact that his character seemed the most fleshed out (more on that in a moment) or that he’s just so damn charismatic, but I really could care less when he wasn’t on the screen. I would recommend that for anyone on the fence on whether they like this guy for Cap., definitely check out this flick so you can see how easily he commands your attention.

So I’ve been fairly positive about everything thus far. Everything above is what kind of worked for me. Let’s talk about what broke. The biggest thing was the characters and their complete lack of development throughout the first act. I’m totally fine if we’re not going to get to know these guys. If the movie is just about explosions, no sweat we can leave all that character shit at the door. But to start introducing character backgrounds half way through the movie (including a complete emotional arc for Columbus Short’s Pooch), I just couldn’t get on board with that. I hate to say this, and I’m willing to bet you will too, but the whole thing made me appreciate the quick paced character development in movies like Armageddon, where it’s basically just built into a five minute montage to an Aerosmith song early in the movie and then quickly disposed of until we need to see Will Patton crying about his son. I can’t quite explain it, but that sort of disposable emotion works for me while introducing a device such as “my wife is pregnant and I’m not going to see the birth” just completely failed.

On top of that, I know that the double cross is a really big part of an epic bag of convention like The Losers but if I’m calling out whose going to turn on who within the first thirty minutes, it ends up damaging the movie something fierce. And then on top of that, one of the characters that turns out to be bad changes allegiances yet again but is still kind of pissed at the people they lied to in the first place and comes back to be on the good guy’s side but will settle the score once the main bad guy is handled and- OH MY GOD seriously? The majority of this movie is very simple but you’ve got this ridiculous character swapping sides whenever it’s necessary for the story to move forward. I just couldn’t buy into it, folks.

And that’s really the main crux of my issue with this film- I’m just not sold on the whole package. Jason Patric and Chris Evans aside, you have 98 minutes of mediocrity and nothing more. I already gave you my recommendation in the opening but I’ll reiterate that if you plan to see this film at the theater, save your money for The A-Team or go watch Kick-Ass again instead. The Losers is good for nothing more than a rental or a highlight reel for Evans’ run at the Captain America role. And since no one reading this is in a position to cast the man in that role (not that it’s necessary any longer) you really have no business watching this movie.

But, I didn‚Äôt finish the British version because I could tell from the trailer of the new one that it had a ton of the same jokes in it. I really wanted some of this new incarnation to be fresh for me so I turned off that dry, unfunny British garbage. Don‚Äôt get me wrong I love a lot of British comedy. Hot Fuzz, Love Actually, Intermission, Gosford Park, Four Weddings and a Funeral… I mean, really that list could go on for a while. I do like some British comedy but in the case of Death at a Funeral, we American‚Äôs just do it better.

I mentioned a moment ago that the script is the same between the two movies, well, that’s true and not true. It’s true in the sense that the action is all the same, the plot points, the characters, even the dialogue for the most part. This new Death is better though because of all the verisimilitude in the dialogue with characters constantly talking over one another; lots of adlibbing etc. It just makes it so much more believable. But first, before I go on, here’s the story. Our hero, Aaron, is holding a funeral for his father who insisted his funeral be held at his own residence.  Aaron and his wife, Michelle (Regina Hall) have been living with Aaron’s parents to help pay the bills and save for their own place. Aaron’s brother, Ryan (Martin Lawrence) is an author and is never around and is an altogether douche bag. Their family is huge and they all get together for this funeral where nothing can possibly go right. The real crux is when they realize that their father had been sleeping with a midget and the midget wants what should have been left to him in the deceased’s will. He wants money. So far I haven’t given anything away that wasn’t in the trailers, so nothing is spoiled here. This is a true blue comedy from the start.

Chris Rock does a great job portraying the hard working brother. Martin Lawrence serves well as the sleazy, rich brother and all the other cast members work really well together making for a pretty hilarious slapstick comedy through to the end. I mean, the audience was going nuts throughout the entire movie. That says a lot.  There are several other stand-out performances in Death that shouldn’t go unnoticed. Zoey Saldana plays the “straight-man” character really well opposite James Marsden who is just balls out hilarious. A note about Marsden’s character: he is played by none other than Alan Tudyk in the 2007 version. I was very excited when I saw Tudyk playing the part because I love him in other features such as Serenity (and Firefly) as well as A Knight’s Tale, but he just didn’t even compare to Marsden’s portrayal of the accidentally drugged up fiancé to the Saldana character. Marsden needs to be in more comedies- end of story.  And there’s another thing, Sheperd Book (Ron Glass) was in the new Death! For all of you who do not know (and shame on you!), Sheperd Book was also in Firefly and Serenity. I just thought that was a crazy coincidence.  Another crazy coincidence that occurred this weekend was that we watched 10 Things I hate About You (1999) and I love Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew so, it was fun to watch the teen comedy remake again after all these years. But the coincidence is that the yellow house that Kat and Bianca live in is the very same YELLOW house where Frank black lived in in the TV series Millennium!!!! So, it’s just crazy coincidence that all these things I love share so many of the same things! Oh AND our very own b-gizzle, who avidly reads our reviews, is going to Seattle this very week where all of these movies/TV shows were filmed!!!!

Ok, so not all of them were filmed in Seattle but still. It had to be said. I love it when all the things I love end up having amazing connections with each other. It makes it seems like I was meant to love them. So, if you still have leftover spare change from when you went to see How to Train Your Dragon or Date Night, then you should definitely go see Death at a Funeral. It will make you laugh and it will almost definitely make you puke. You will enjoy it.

]]> http://mediabreach.com/2010/02/01/trailer-the-losers/feed/ 4