The plot is¬†mostly simple. The perpetually sweaty Uncle Sweetheart owes lots of people lots of money. To make that money, he’s planning to stage a benefit concert with the cheapest acts he can find (including a Pope John Paul II impersonator and a prognosticator named Ella the Fortune Teller). The headliner of the group is the washed-up, has-been folk singer, Jack Fate. The television network is pushing hard on Sweetheart and his boss Nina to make this concert work, which will most surely be a huge debacle, while Jack buses his way up to the capital city. …and it’s not Washington D.C.

Jesus

Top 5 Most Over the Top Symbolic Character Names:

 5 РLeeland Gaunt РNeedful Things

4 – Kal-El (meaning “Voice of God”) – Superman

3 – Stanley Goodspeed – The Rock

2 – Neo – The Matrix

1 – Jesus – The Last Temptation of Christ

Because, of course, this movie is not only a political, talk-your-ears-off movie, it’s also science fiction. Not science fiction in the way that the buses fly (which they don’t) or the food is all processed vitamin caplets (which it isn’t), but science fiction in the Philip K. Dick / Michael Chabon kind of way. So in this reality, the nation seems to be (based on the flags) a Canada/United States/Mexico/etc. amalgam where war and revolution are running out of control, and the president’s face is plastered all over everything in an incredibly un-sublte Saddam Hussein fashion. Masked and Anonymous is not about subtlety.

So there are 2 parallel (sort of) plots that don’t exactly cross (but kinda do). The president is dying, and we see through flashbacks that he has a tumultuous history with Jack and the situation gradually works itself to a resolution. The “kinda” crossing is that the benefit concert is the Sweetheart-ex-Machina that brings Jack to the capital. The secondary plot is what we viewers learn about society at large from the conversations between the characters. It’s an ambitious movie. The script itself is chock-full of fortune cookie wisdom, which is all well and good to poke fun at, but dammit, fortune cookies have really great advice sometimes!

The History of the Fortune Cookie Limerick (like you weren’t expecting this…)

California Cookie

First sold in San Francisco
in Japanese Tea Garden Disco
the cookie’s molded
then unfolded
now marketed by Nabisco

 

Masked and Anonymous is all about the words. It’s¬†all about the dialogue, which is rarely stock or forced, but is incredibly dense for modern movie-making. I’m not saying it’s Shakespeare (it doesn’t even rhyme), but that Bob Dylan and Larry Charles (credited as Sergie Petrov and Rene Fontaine) craft a coherent, effective script out of statements such as: “I don’t know. Ever heard of cellulose? It’s in the grass. Cows can digest it. But you can’t. And neither can I,” without coming off as smarter-than-you intellectual snobs is pretty miraculous. Of course, there’s no doubt this movie wasn’t more popular because they¬†did come off as smarter-than-you intellectual snobs. But just because we don’t like to be told that we need to grow up doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear it.

Of course, if you’re not into political commentaries, please feel free to watch the movie for the 4 or 5 live performances Jack Dylan performs with his band. It’s half the fun of watching. Here’s a spoiler-free taste:

Jack Fate with a Simple Twist of Fate

It’s a little overdue, so if you’re still not convinced to see this movie, here’s the RIDICULOUS CAST LIST:
in order of appearance – the major players:
John Goodman as Uncle Sweetheart-
As long as I keep talking, I know I’m still alive.
Jessica Lange as Nina Veronica-
You can’t compare the here and now with the there and then.
Bob Dylan as Jack Fate-
I haven’t felt free in a long time.
Jeff Bridges as Tom Friend-
Would you reach out to a drowning man?
Penelope Cruz as Pagan Lace-
You gotta look through the windshield, not at it.
Mickey Rourke as Edmund-
You ever met any big star with a set of nuts?
Luke Wilson as Bobby Cupid-
You want the world to be flat? It’s flat.
Angela Bassett as The Mistress-
A home is a refuge.

!!SPOILER ALERT!!

In the most recent Breachcast, it was made clear that not everyone enjoys knowing the surprise cameos going into the first viewing of a movie. Completely understandable. It feels like the entire purpose of a cameo can be an inside joke. A little easter egg for those in the know to have a little laugh of “Hey I didn’t know he was in this.” So, if you share that feeling, just gloss over the next few lines and suffice it to say, it’s impressive…

The Cameos
Cheech Marin – That’s a good direction. I’ve done that a lot.
Bruce Dern – Make something out of it. If you can’t do that, make it up.
Giovanni Ribisi – I didn’t know what the answers were.
Richard Sarafian as the president
Fred Ward – Who in Hell’s presiding over this slaughterhouse? You or me?
Val Kilmer – Rabbit don’t try to do an impression of a monkey.
Christian Slater – There’s really only 2 races: workers and bosses.
Chris Penn – Yeah, you said the same thing last week.
Ed Harris – Everything was going great, as long as you kept your mouth shut.
Jack Fate’s Band:
Tony Garnier – Bass
Larry Campbell – Guitar
Charlie Sexton – Guitar
George Recile – Drums

Mick Jagger as Vacendak

TOP 5 MOVIES STARRING A MUSICIAN (…not named Elivs or John, Paul, George or Ringo)

5 – Idlewild – Andre 3000 / Big Boi

4 – Labyrinth – David Bowie

3 - Blade РKris Kristofferson

2 – Coffee and Cigarettes – Tom Waits / Iggy Pop

1 – Freejack – Mic Jagger

It’s hardly a new practice for Hollywoodites to tell us their political views. From stand-up classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to the more subtle Schindler’s List and Syriana, movie-making often acts as a social-injustice-sniffing watchdog. And I would argue that it’s the duty of filmmakers, along with other visual artists and authors and musicians, to shine the light on every socio-economico-politico inequity they can get their creative hands on. Kurt Vonnegut once told me that artists are the canaries in the American coal mine. As he says in his Address to the American Physical Society in 1969:

“This theory argues that artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive. They are supersensitive. They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poison gas, long before more robust types realize that any danger is there.¬†The most useful thing I could do before this meeting today is to keel over. On the other hand, artists are keeling over by the thousands every day and nobody seems to pay the least attention.”

Of course Koort was more referring to the Vietnam War.¬†Which artists are keeling over now? So keep your ears open, and when the tweeting quits, make sure your head’s on a swivel.

Kurt

Sleeper Cell is a weekly column that will reflect movies that you perhaps missed or have always been meaning to watch but are too much of an asshole to place into your Netflix queue. ¬†This could be a movie from 50 years ago or a movie from last year. ¬†Bottom line, these are choice flicks and you missed out so Zack and our other writers are going to tell you what’s up.

Plot: Contini has to start shooting his new movie in 10 days and he has no script. SPOILER ALERT! And suddenly his life turns to bleep.

The opening number was underwhelming. Rob Marshall and John DeLuca‚Äôs choreography gets old quick. The way each of Contini’s women is introduced is both polished and entertaining but only for a moment. Marshall uses the same old tricks in his staging and choreography time after time, song after song. There are a few tunes that aren’t all fluff and fodder such as Luisa singing “My husband makes movies.” This song should have been spoken. It repeats itself a million times, therefore losing any and all impact as a dramatic piece. The same could be said about the movie as a whole. Nothing is implied; everything is overstated and straightforward.

I am a huge fan of musicals but I prefer the musicals where people are talking and then suddenly burst into song. I mean, I thought that’s what a musical was supposed to be. Even freakin’ Seth McFarland of the subversive TV show Family Guy understands this Рcue Stewie and Brian’s “on the road to Rhode Island.” Of course, before there was Family Guy there was Oklahoma, Oliver!, Hello Dolly, Rent or the recently revamped Tim Burton adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd. It’s the magic of the musical genre! That while going about your daily duties everyone around just starts singing! What a world! (As an aside I must mention this: there is a group of artists from New York city called Improv Everywhere. They act out strange and curious, we’ll call them “plays,” in public places for everyone around to enjoy. I recently saw one on You Tube where they gathered in a grocery store and some guy starts singing about fruit and then a woman joins in and then another and another until they are singing and dancing in perfect harmony about how putting different kinds of fruit together in love can change the world! WOW! I’d give anything to be a part of that! And the person surreptitiously filming this performance gathered comments from shoppers in the store. They all loved it, like a little piece of magic in their otherwise dull grocery shopping experience.) I understand what Mr. Marshall has done with Nine is nothing new of course. There are other movie musicals of recent years where every song and dance is imagined or a mere memory. Take Chicago for example – Oh wait.

The problem begins with the starkly contrasting colors of each musical number. Almost every song is set on a stage with spotlights and the same Rome in ruins set. Most of the time Contini is sitting in nearby scaffolding, watching and musing. The camera swings around, back and forth, in and out like a Ferris wheel. Most of the singing is really great though. Saraghina’s “Be Italian” is a standout number and the way in which Marshall uses the scene to recall Contini’s first sexual enterprise, mixing color and black and white shots, is nicely done. Contini’s mistress Carla is introduced performing a kind of burlesque routine on a mirrored surface, kicking her legs out and pulsing and gyrating all over the floor. I swear I was blushing in the darkness of the theatre. But who wouldn’t be? I mean, there’s skin in there for all ages. They put Dame Dench in a bustier and made her sing and walk around on stage. Though they could have given her something worth saying. Yes, we get it- Contini’s life is a façade. How apt for his costume designer to be the one to make that point. Though as the older, wiser of Contini’s confidants, Lilli understands that her job is to make beautiful clothes Рthat no one actually cares about what Contini’s characters are saying or doing. She actually says that to Contini himself. To us, the audience, as if we wouldn’t have gotten that theme in some subtler way.

There are 3 standout performances in this film. Marion Cotillard as Contini‚Äôs wife was truly a pleasure to watch. She wasn‚Äôt given much to work with as her character wasn‚Äôt fleshed out enough but Cotillard has a way of pulling you into every word she says. She is the most approachable character in the movie. This is illustrated by the way she conservatively dresses or the way she reacts to seeing Carla walk in during a dinner meeting with the producers and her husband. You immediately feel sorry for her and she redeems herself by taking control of her own life in the end. Daniel Day-Lewis is absolutely flawless as the disheveled, charming creative genius. He just rolls out of bed with a cigarette in his mouth, smiles, and you believe him. You actually want to like him because he is so cool. His singing is pretty good, but it actually reminded me of Jack the Pumpkin King from A Nightmare Before Christmas. Sorry for the reference but it‚Äôs true! Again, he sings on his dismantled or partly finished stage with a spotlight on him and a fog machine going in the background. Arg! Rob Marshall’s directing again getting in the way of good performances. My favorite character is the starlet Claudia. She makes her entrance toward the end of the movie but it‚Äôs worth the wait. Claudia makes her stand against Contini as she decides that she would rather play the role of the man in his new film. She doesn‚Äôt want to play the highly sexualized females that Contini has written for her and she too walks out on him. Hooray feminism! This one brave act from one woman in the movie does not make the ending of Nine any less annoying. All the women entering the sound stage where he‚Äôs apparently filming 8 ¬Ω is just ridiculous. Yes, Contini is who he is because of all the women in his life but this just seemed like they were encouraging him- like they were proud to have been his discarded muses. I mean what a misogynist! Perhaps that‚Äôs too harsh. Nah. It‚Äôs definitely appropriate.

But please go see Nine if not for the story then for pure enjoyment of glitter on slick skin, spotlights, and choreography. Broadway tickets are around $80 here is San Antonio. So, $9 is a steal is it not? I saw the movie with my sister, who’s been in musical theatre since she was 6, and my husband and we all agreed on this: condense the movie down to the musical performances and you’ve got several pretty good music videos. Actually, given the sparkles and the way several scenes were lit with contrasting colors all in the same shot gave me some great ideas for an upcoming photo shoot. But that was precisely the problem. This movie is made up of a bunch of pretty pictures. Eye candy. I wish it were better though. Especially since this is my first review for the Breach and all.