First off, I feel it’s important to give respect to movies with awesome opening credits. In 1995 David Fincher’s Se7en really changed the game in terms of telling a part of the story through opening credit artwork, but the tradition really goes back throughout film history with classics from the 30s and 40s giving an entire cast list to the orchestral soundtrack with border work giving clues to the upcoming film’s tone. When I was 6 I never caught on that the entire credit sequence (set to Carmen McRae’s “You Took Advantage of Me”) details the history of human weaponry from a cave-drawing inspired depiction of a neolithic men as stick-thin figures firing arrows with¬†long-bows and the development of iron-age weapons such as a halbard¬†and mace all the way through the early stages of pistols and atomic bombs. Had I any idea what I was looking at, I would have understood the opening scene¬†much better.

The movie opens on a very serious (if not a little farcical) CIA meeting discussing the hypothetical new laser weapon dubbed “Crossbow” which has the capacity to vaporize a human target from space – The evil CIA guy (played by character actor Ed Lauter, Seabiscuit, Starship Troopers 2) wants the laser as a “peace-time weapon” to eliminate threats before they become truly dangerous.

We jump from the Capitol Hill headquarters to a high school science fair where we meet our young hero, Mitch (Gabe Jarrett, Apollo 13, Frost/Nixon), presenting his science project laser. Mitch has been accepted at the age of just 15 years to the Cal-Tech-inspired fictional school – Pacific Tech, fictional in real life I mean – it’s real in the movie. As in, the kid doesn’t go to an imaginary school in terms of the narration of the story – to him the school is real. But to me, and most people watching this movie as a piece of fictional story-telling, the school¬†isn’t real. There are even “real” teachers and students already attending classes in this fictional world, whereas in the “real” world, where I’m sitting in my black rocking chair with my laptop, no school called “Pacific Tech” has ever really existed. Not only that, but Mitch has been tabbed to work on Dr. Hathaway’s (William Atherton, Die Hard, do you really need another movie credit after Die Hard??) personal team to develop the very same laser the CIA wants for their weapon – which of course is all very top secret, and unbeknownst to the team of unwitting sciency college geniuses. He will help lead the team with National Physics Club legend, Chris Knight (Iceman).

Kurt

A Note on Science Without Philosophy:

It’s one thing for a person to be experimenting on stone by chipping away at a stone with, say, a different stone, and making a rough, pointy tool, that through yet more experimenting it’s discovered that this new pointy rock does one hell of a job at puncturing the tough skin of roaming herds of animals that can very ably feed¬†said person and¬†their nomadic family. Far be it for¬†this early scientist¬†to be able to predict that very same stone would do so equally a hell of a job puncturing the not-so-tough skin of another person. It is a very different thing for a much more learned person to experiment with certain petroleum-based compounds that have a nasty habit of sticking to the skin and clothes of still yet other persons and that have a particular knack for being lit on fire and staying that way until the fuel burns out. In these little reviews of mine, I have a little¬†habit of my own for blaming all my personal philosophy on the lectures of Kurt Vonnegut, which might be a little less factual than I make it seem. In any case, Kurt (I feel I can refer to him by his first name considering he’s no longer around to take umbridge with it *sniffle*) makes it abundantly clear in his 1969 address to the American Physical Society (presented in whole in his collection Wampeters Foma and Granfalloons) that “old-fashioned scientists,” who were allowed to experiment on whatever they found interesting, or maybe whatever got them a steady paycheck, are no longer able to exist. Or at least to exist without blame. The more “modern” scientist is required to think about what it is on which he is experimenting or inventing and what it may do to other living people. I happen to agree with this. Quoting another completely fictional statement in a nearly completely fictional movie called Kingdom of Heaven, directed by Ridley Scott, the English-born King of Jerusalem, King Baldwin IV says to that movie’s hero that “When you stand before God you cannot say ‘but I was told by others to do thus’ or that ‘virtue was not convinient at the time.’ This will not suffice. Remember that.”

And oh my god is this an 80s movie. There are a grand total of¬†four musical montages throughout this movie. And by god if they’re not all fantastic:

Mitch studies as he gets into the school groove to “I’m Falling” by The C. S. Angels (which sounds AWEsome at 1.5 speed). Chris redidicates himself to his work to “Number One” performed by the immortal Chaz Jankel. The short montage during Dr. Hathaway’s final exam is set to the instrumental “You’re the Only Love” by Paul Hyde and the Payolas. And finally, as our group of heroes spies on the evil Dr. to learn his plans for the laser-weapon, we’re treated to “Standing in Line” by The Textones. Rock! Special thanks to music supervisors Becky Mancuso and Michael Papale for forever altering the course of my life.

It's Work Time

Not to mention of course the beyond incredible hair-styles (as it happens by the way, it turns out that 90s hairstyles were really only 80s hairstyles with a lot of water thrown on them, as depicted in the Future Beautician party scene, incidentally set to Don Henley’s “All She Wants to Do Is Dance.” Nice). This movie is solely responsible for my going close to 15 years of my life sans-sideburns. Who needs them? And after I left college having not found a single dorm hallway covered in sublimating ice nor a super-genius holing up in the abandoned steam tunnels under any of the campus buildings, life seemed just a little less colorful.

Jon Gries

Under-appreciated Actor of the Week: Jonathan Gries
For his consistent ability to portray the homeless as a humorous people in his appearances as Rusty in “Seinfeld.” For his incredible performances as Roger Linus in TV’s “Lost” and as the has-been football star Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, Jon, I salute you.

So if you haven’t guessed by now, Chris and Mitch spend their time mostly out of¬†lecture halls¬†experimenting on different types of lasers to create a 5 megawatt laser for the purposes of passing Dr. Hathaway’s class. The Evil Dr. is constantly pressured by the CIA to produce a working laser, and Mitch grows to be a strong, mature man. Maturing, of course, is a rough and brutal process, and through pranks by eternal brown-nosing Kent (Robert Prescott, The Good Shepherd, Burn After Reading), and his blossoming libido (directed towards genius cutie Jordan played by 80s starlet Michelle Meyrink of The Outsiders and Nice Girls Don’t Explode), Mitch navigates his way through adolescence. Wow. That sounds like a horrible movie. It is, instead, through the incredibly sharp writing of Neal Israel, Pat Proft and Peter Torokvei, much more interesting than any accurate synopsis would make it seem.

In short, if you haven’t see this movie yet, then your next life objective ought to be fairly clear. Real Genius isn’t yet available on Blu-ray, but don’t let that discourage you from spending the 3 dollars on the DVD version – there is nothing in the movie that will benefit greatly from the 1080 treatment. And while it might be cool to see in HD¬†just how horribly the Pegasus wings were actually animated for the Tri-Mark logo, or to see each individual kernel in the iconic “popcorn scene,” the 480 clarity is more than enough to deliver the total awesomeness of the incredible amount of one-liners in store for you. In fact, if you still have a working VHS, save the couple of bucks and go with the 75 cent tape copy from Half.com. Sometimes, seeing a movie in its original presentation can add to the effect. There’s nothing like popping in the un-mastered Night of the Living Dead every once in a while. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss horizontal scrolling lines through my movies every so often. So buy this movie, and then love it.

The plot is¬†mostly simple. The perpetually sweaty Uncle Sweetheart owes lots of people lots of money. To make that money, he’s planning to stage a benefit concert with the cheapest acts he can find (including a Pope John Paul II impersonator and a prognosticator named Ella the Fortune Teller). The headliner of the group is the washed-up, has-been folk singer, Jack Fate. The television network is pushing hard on Sweetheart and his boss Nina to make this concert work, which will most surely be a huge debacle, while Jack buses his way up to the capital city. …and it’s not Washington D.C.

Jesus

Top 5 Most Over the Top Symbolic Character Names:

 5 РLeeland Gaunt РNeedful Things

4 – Kal-El (meaning “Voice of God”) – Superman

3 – Stanley Goodspeed – The Rock

2 – Neo – The Matrix

1 – Jesus – The Last Temptation of Christ

Because, of course, this movie is not only a political, talk-your-ears-off movie, it’s also science fiction. Not science fiction in the way that the buses fly (which they don’t) or the food is all processed vitamin caplets (which it isn’t), but science fiction in the Philip K. Dick / Michael Chabon kind of way. So in this reality, the nation seems to be (based on the flags) a Canada/United States/Mexico/etc. amalgam where war and revolution are running out of control, and the president’s face is plastered all over everything in an incredibly un-sublte Saddam Hussein fashion. Masked and Anonymous is not about subtlety.

So there are 2 parallel (sort of) plots that don’t exactly cross (but kinda do). The president is dying, and we see through flashbacks that he has a tumultuous history with Jack and the situation gradually works itself to a resolution. The “kinda” crossing is that the benefit concert is the Sweetheart-ex-Machina that brings Jack to the capital. The secondary plot is what we viewers learn about society at large from the conversations between the characters. It’s an ambitious movie. The script itself is chock-full of fortune cookie wisdom, which is all well and good to poke fun at, but dammit, fortune cookies have really great advice sometimes!

The History of the Fortune Cookie Limerick (like you weren’t expecting this…)

California Cookie

First sold in San Francisco
in Japanese Tea Garden Disco
the cookie’s molded
then unfolded
now marketed by Nabisco

 

Masked and Anonymous is all about the words. It’s¬†all about the dialogue, which is rarely stock or forced, but is incredibly dense for modern movie-making. I’m not saying it’s Shakespeare (it doesn’t even rhyme), but that Bob Dylan and Larry Charles (credited as Sergie Petrov and Rene Fontaine) craft a coherent, effective script out of statements such as: “I don’t know. Ever heard of cellulose? It’s in the grass. Cows can digest it. But you can’t. And neither can I,” without coming off as smarter-than-you intellectual snobs is pretty miraculous. Of course, there’s no doubt this movie wasn’t more popular because they¬†did come off as smarter-than-you intellectual snobs. But just because we don’t like to be told that we need to grow up doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear it.

Of course, if you’re not into political commentaries, please feel free to watch the movie for the 4 or 5 live performances Jack Dylan performs with his band. It’s half the fun of watching. Here’s a spoiler-free taste:

Jack Fate with a Simple Twist of Fate

It’s a little overdue, so if you’re still not convinced to see this movie, here’s the RIDICULOUS CAST LIST:
in order of appearance – the major players:
John Goodman as Uncle Sweetheart-
As long as I keep talking, I know I’m still alive.
Jessica Lange as Nina Veronica-
You can’t compare the here and now with the there and then.
Bob Dylan as Jack Fate-
I haven’t felt free in a long time.
Jeff Bridges as Tom Friend-
Would you reach out to a drowning man?
Penelope Cruz as Pagan Lace-
You gotta look through the windshield, not at it.
Mickey Rourke as Edmund-
You ever met any big star with a set of nuts?
Luke Wilson as Bobby Cupid-
You want the world to be flat? It’s flat.
Angela Bassett as The Mistress-
A home is a refuge.

!!SPOILER ALERT!!

In the most recent Breachcast, it was made clear that not everyone enjoys knowing the surprise cameos going into the first viewing of a movie. Completely understandable. It feels like the entire purpose of a cameo can be an inside joke. A little easter egg for those in the know to have a little laugh of “Hey I didn’t know he was in this.” So, if you share that feeling, just gloss over the next few lines and suffice it to say, it’s impressive…

The Cameos
Cheech Marin – That’s a good direction. I’ve done that a lot.
Bruce Dern – Make something out of it. If you can’t do that, make it up.
Giovanni Ribisi – I didn’t know what the answers were.
Richard Sarafian as the president
Fred Ward – Who in Hell’s presiding over this slaughterhouse? You or me?
Val Kilmer – Rabbit don’t try to do an impression of a monkey.
Christian Slater – There’s really only 2 races: workers and bosses.
Chris Penn – Yeah, you said the same thing last week.
Ed Harris – Everything was going great, as long as you kept your mouth shut.
Jack Fate’s Band:
Tony Garnier – Bass
Larry Campbell – Guitar
Charlie Sexton – Guitar
George Recile – Drums

Mick Jagger as Vacendak

TOP 5 MOVIES STARRING A MUSICIAN (…not named Elivs or John, Paul, George or Ringo)

5 – Idlewild – Andre 3000 / Big Boi

4 – Labyrinth – David Bowie

3 - Blade РKris Kristofferson

2 – Coffee and Cigarettes – Tom Waits / Iggy Pop

1 – Freejack – Mic Jagger

It’s hardly a new practice for Hollywoodites to tell us their political views. From stand-up classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to the more subtle Schindler’s List and Syriana, movie-making often acts as a social-injustice-sniffing watchdog. And I would argue that it’s the duty of filmmakers, along with other visual artists and authors and musicians, to shine the light on every socio-economico-politico inequity they can get their creative hands on. Kurt Vonnegut once told me that artists are the canaries in the American coal mine. As he says in his Address to the American Physical Society in 1969:

“This theory argues that artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive. They are supersensitive. They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poison gas, long before more robust types realize that any danger is there.¬†The most useful thing I could do before this meeting today is to keel over. On the other hand, artists are keeling over by the thousands every day and nobody seems to pay the least attention.”

Of course Koort was more referring to the Vietnam War.¬†Which artists are keeling over now? So keep your ears open, and when the tweeting quits, make sure your head’s on a swivel.

Kurt

Sleeper Cell is a weekly column that will reflect movies that you perhaps missed or have always been meaning to watch but are too much of an asshole to place into your Netflix queue. ¬†This could be a movie from 50 years ago or a movie from last year. ¬†Bottom line, these are choice flicks and you missed out so Zack and our other writers are going to tell you what’s up.