To really gain an appreciation for the grandeur of the work of William Shakespeare, it’s necessary to know at least a little about the man himself. And to provide the audience with a brief biography of the Bard, is writer/actor Adam Long (it’s a lenghty quotation, but it’s sets the tone):
“William Shakespeare was born in 1564 in the town of Stratford upon Avon, Warwickshire the third of eight children; he was the eldest son of John Shakespeare a locally prominent merchant and Mary Arden, daughter of a Roman … Catholic member of the landed gentry. in 1582 he married Anne Hathaway. Shakespeare arrived in London in 1588 and by 1592 he had achieved success as an actor and a playwright. After 1608, his dramatic production lessened, and it seems that he spent more time in Stratford. There he dictated to his secretary Rudolf Hess the work Mein Kampf … in which he set forth his program for the restoration of Germany to a dominant position in Europe. After reoccupying the Reinland zone between France and Germany annexing Austria and the Sudetenland and the remainder of Czechoslovakia … Shakespeare invaded Poland on September 1, 1939. Thus precipitating World War II. (I never knew that before…) Shakespeare remained in Berlin when the Russians entered the city on April 1, 1945 and committed suicide with his mistress Eva Peron. He lies buried in the church at Stratford.”¬†

The production is presented in 2 acts. The first act consists of all Shakespeares Histories and Comedies and all but 1 of the tragedies, all broken down into the most recognizable lines with funny accents and costumes. The live studio audience plays along well and laughs in all the right parts. And we get the obligatory shot of the giggling old woman in the audience every time they thust out their crotches or grab a fake boob or anything like that. 

Delroy Pimpdaddy

The bulk of Act 1 is taken with the opening play: Romeo and Juliet. Adam and Reed play all the major parts while Austin provides important narration. They start with the thumb-biting scene and blah blah blah. Reed gets to be Romeo, and Adam (who plays all the women) is Juliet. Then they do the¬†Capulet¬†party¬†when the 2 ¬†meet for the first time and¬†then quickly to an impromptu balcony scene. It’s the perfect place to start the compendium. If there is a story which the entire English speaking world knows, it’s Romeo and Juliet. God knows how many terribly terrible songs have been written invoking the main characters and how many temporally challenged movie adaptations have been made. Not to mention martial arts movies starring b-list actors paired up with R&B superstars. …that’s really a cheap shot. Delroy Lindo might be b-list, but the dude’s awesome. Even in Gone in 60 Seconds. What a piece of crap.¬†

The trio continue to re-enact the funny bits of Shakespeares tragedies (because, as they point out, they’re much funnier than his comedies) in inventive ways including a cooking show presentation for the cannibalistic war drama Titus Andronicus and an ultra-nerdy Beastie Boys-ish hip-hop version of Othello. The histories are combined into football-style play-by-play, and the comedies are condensed into a quick recitation combining all their plot points into 1 story-ish thing, which, to be honest, really isn’t that funny (it’s not¬†bad either, just not up to par with the rest of the show), and you feel better when it ends after a very short three minutes and fifteen seconds.¬†

Then, the intermission. *sigh*
After an incredible 45 minutes of¬†Act I, the “story” of the performance goes off the rails with a pretty lame intermission. Adam pretends to not want to do Hamlet because it has too many words, and Reed and Austin try to talk him into it. Instead Adam runs down the aisle and out of the theater pursued closely by Austin. Maybe,¬†maybe if the cameras followed the “action” it’d be a bit funnier, but we’re stuck with watching Reed perform a very Renaissance-Fair-Friendly fire-swallow and then roast marshmallows. Yeah. It doesn’t really work. They kind of save it when the stage lights come back up for Act 2 and Reed, still alone on stage, plays the accordian in honor of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Sweet.¬†

Sir Laurence Olivier as Hamlet

Act 2 is devoted entirely to what they consider to be the greatest play ever written in English, Hamlet. Which is where the cool stuff really starts. The acting takes a conscious step up, and there’s more attention paid to the language Shakespeare uses. But the really fun part is the Ophelia scream. Because of Adam’s hesitance to play along with the Hamlet performance, Reed and Austin pull a cute “volunteer” onstage to scream after Austin yells the famous “Get thee to a nunnery” line. She screams as weakly as you’d expect a nervous audience volunteer to scream in front of an full house of theater-goers, so they engage in a character study with the audience and build the tension to allow her a second shot at a more believable exclamation. And it’s awesome. Furthermore, by the end of the show, with the 80+ minutes of goofing off they’ve been doing, they turn up the drama, show you they’re really actors, and blow your socks off.¬†

It’d be impossible to write down the list of the multitude of characters each actor portrays during the course of the 88 minute presentation (and by impossible I mean long, annoying for me, and unreadable for you), so forget about it. Adam plays Juliet, Cleopatra, Cressida and Ophelia. Reed plays Romeo, Lear, Julius Ceasar and Laertes. And Austin plays Titus, Macbeth and Hamlet. And throw in a smattering of a few other less famous characters, a few nurses, and some Richards for all three.¬†

 

It’s important to know that you don’t need to know Shakespeare to enjoy what’s going on here. Seriously, if you have ANY appreciation for theatrical performance at all, this will be one of the funniest “movies” you’ll ever see. Really, it’s dudes running around onstage reciting quick Shakespearen verse while screeching in falsetto girly voices, tripping over stuff and bringing the greatest drama ever written back to Earth. Shakespeare was an actor for God’s sake. I’m all for what Sir Laurence Olivier did for the Shakespeare revival back in the 30′s onstage and the 40′s in Hollywood, but I just can’t imagine that’s how Willy would have wanted it performed. His comedies are the goofiest damn things ever written. And half his tragedies can read more like parodies than serious tragedy. I swear, read Romeo and Juliet again, and tell me Shakespeare isn’t totally making fun of stupid teenagers who LOVELOVELOVE whatever cute girl they happen to be looking at this particular second, and then OH GOD THE WORLD WILL END I HAVE TO KILLLLLLLL MYSELF the instant they don’t get their way. They run away from home. There’s totally a “my-dad-can-beat-up-your-dad” scene. It’s fantastic, and amazingly written and absolutely ridiculous. Titus Andronicus eats a dude’s HEAD. Are you kidding me? And thank god for this production to remind us that Shakespeare used to get wasted in bars and fist-fight with rival actors.¬†

A Life Less Ordinary isn‚Äôt the TYPICAL, typical sleeper; it was heavily publicized and highly promoted by the studio, including even a pretty brilliant Michel Gondry music video for the original Beck song “Deadweight.” It‚Äôs a less typical, typical sleeper; people just didn‚Äôt like it very much. I maintain it‚Äôs because it was aimed at the wrong market. The movie was originally billed as a Tarantino-style hipster romance. It‚Äôs nothing like that. It‚Äôs more a feel-good fantasy that should grab fans of movies like The Fifth Element or the aforementioned Jean-Pierre Jeunet‚Äôs Amelie. It‚Äôs a goofy, happy, comedy love story. NOT Pulp Fiction.

But this article isn’t a referendum on studio decision-making. I hate to use words like “charming” or “delightful” when describing a love story, because they seem to come pre-charged with undertones of “underwhelming” and “don’t-expect-too-much.” So let’s go with “funny-as-hell” and “awesome.” 1997 gave us the Star Wars Special Edition reset alongside other blockbusters like The Lost World: Jurassic Park and Men in Black. All in all, it was a pretty good year for movies, Con Air notwithstanding. So who the hell knew what to do with a movie about 2 matchmaker angels threatened with earthly transfiguration if they failed in their assignment to get the recently laid-off janitor and the billionaire heiress to fall in love.

So … About that…

The two angels, (Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo) whose job it is to introduce future spouses to each other, have had a bad run of divorces. They are heaven-sent from a retro 50s/60s style police station by Chief of Police, Gabriel (played by Cheers fan-favorite Dan Hedaya who, coincidentally, is also in Alien 4). Their new case is a toughy, and if they fail, they will be punished by being forced back into mortality.

The couple?

Ewan McGregor is the happy-go-unlucky janitor, Robert, who is replaced by a floor-sweeping, (coincidentally R2D2-looking) robot janitor. Later that same day, he’s dumped by his girlfriend in favor of her aerobics instructor, and for the coup de grace, the angels show up incognitus to repossess his car and home and couch and, well all of it.¬†Cameron Diaz is the billionaire’s malcontent daughter, Celine Naville, complete with zebra print gloves and blue cashmere blazer. She resents her father (as all billionaire children should) and just recently (though probably accidentally) shot her latest suitor in the face with a .44 caliber revolver.

Other electro-job theft:
With the increasing use of home robots like automatic vacuums, the soon-to-be-popular automatic lawn mower, and the dramatic rise in production-based robotics (especially in relation to oceanic oil platforms), more and more jobs are being taken from humans and given to machines. While it may be more ideal to give war-specific duties to radio controlled robots (i.e. the Predator drones in Iraq and Afghanistan), the idea of the world envisioned by Kurt Vonnegut in his prophetic 1952 novel Player Piano still strikes most people as just plain creepy.

Extended List of Players:
Robert – Ewan McGregor (The Island)
Celine – Cameron Diaz (The Mask, Very Bad Things)
O’Reilly – Holly Hunter (Thirteen, The Incredibles)
     Matchmaker Angel #1
Jackson – Delroy Lindo (Congo, Romeo Must Die)
     Matchmaker Angel #2
Mr. Naville – Ian Holm (Alien, Bless the Child)
     Said billionaire
Mayhew – Ian McNeice (Top Secret!, White Noise)
     Said billionaire’s butler/assistant
Elliott – Stanley Tucci (Maid in Manhattan, The Terminal)
     Celine’s most recent suitor and one hell of a good dentist
Todd Johnson – Maury Chaykin (Blindness, Harriet the Spy)
     A “regular man” who befriends Robert (also has a barking best friend who hasn’t been the same since the war)

The romantic plan? A kidnapping!

Stockholm Syndrome:
Named after a 6-day bank robbery/hostage situation in August 1973 in BINGBINGBING! you got it: STOCKHOLM, Sweden. This syndrome is characterized by victims of hostagery becoming emotionally attached to their captors. Though rare, afflictees display defensive attitudes when their captors are punished. In the extreme case of Jaycee Lee Dugard, after having been raped and held captive for over 18 years, Dugard described her assailant as good with kids. Jaycee Dugard was just rescued this past August after her 1991 abduction and though she was held in a so-called “secret backyard” surrounded by a privacy fence and tarp, referred to the kidnapper as a “great man.”

So Robert storms back into the offices of Mr. Naville with an attitude and no plan at all. Naville is having a talk with Celine, informing her that she will have to work for her money now. Robert bursts through the door carrying a jani-bot. He demands his job back, and is immediately dealt with by a pack of fatty security guards. In the office melee that ensues, Celine kicks a gun to Robert who uses it to get away from the guards and then to shoot Mr. Naville in the leg. He kidnaps Celine and drives away with her into the countryside to try and figure something out while the line between who is directing the kidnapping begins to blur. And as the 2 angels (again, in disguise in disguise in disguise) are hired by Naville to track down Robert you wonder, is their plan working ingeniously or failing spectacularly.

Top 5 Wacky Syndromes!! (these are all real by the way…)
5 – Exploding Head Syndrome
Sufferers hear intermittent explosion-like noises in their heads, usually just after having fallen asleep.
4 – Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (aka Micropsia)
Sufferers will see people and objects as being much smaller than they actually are. So named because of the belief that Lewis Carroll may have been afflicted.
3 – Walking Corpse Syndrome
Sufferers believe they have lost body parts or are in fact dead and can feel and smell their flesh rotting; has been linked to schizophrenia and cocaine use.
2 – Genital Retraction Syndrome
Sufferers believe that their genitals are either shrinking or being retracted into their bodies; more common among cultures with widespread belief in witchcraft.
#1! – Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Syndrome
Sufferers react violently to loud noises by screaming, jumping, and wildly gesticulating. Even more interesting, sufferers seem compelled to obey loudly spoken, authoritative commands, going so far as to attack loved ones if sternly directed to do so.

This week’s underappreciated actor of the week:
Maury Chaykin!
One of my personal favorites. For his portrayal of the first town sheriff in the great SyFy series Eureka to his great character work in Cutthroat Island and Mousehunt. And his role in the standout episode of season two of Boston Legal, I salute him for being Chaykin, not stirred. (ouch)

Memorable Line:
“Oh, and that’s all I am to you, isn’t it? The latest kidnapper. A lifestyle accessory. And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause you can always get another one.”   – Robert

Standout Scene:
The angels are doing their best to put Robert and Celine into situations that might spark that initial bit of love-ness, and have come to a point of desperation – the plan is to put one of them into a deadly situation in the hopes that the other will abandon logic and attempt a rescue. I hate to give anything away (to the point where I’m hopelessly vague), but set to the incredible song “Leave” by R.E.M. and featuring the equally incredible trademark camera work from The Genius Danny Boyle, the “Jeopardy Scene” stands out as the kind of movie-making that belongs in an Oscar montage reserved for the dead-guy part of the Oscar telecast.

I‚Äôll admit, it can be hard to pump up a romanticomedy, but some of them just do it different. From the great off-pitch but honest actor-sung musical number to the love-poem-writing angels, A Life Less Ordinary definitely does it different. There are a few romaticomedies like John Wayne’s The Queit Man, Adrien Brody’s Dummy and Keir Dullea’s 2001: A Space Odyssey that leave the rom-com genre behind and are just great movies. A Life Less Ordinary is that kind of movie.