Mar 092010
Adam's Crawl Space: Fear Dot Com

I’d like to start off by saying thanks to Desiree for last week’s Crawl Space recommendation of Beer for My Horses. I had intended on mentioning that in the review last week, but let it slip by.  So thanks a lot for suggesting I sit through that shit, Desiree.
I know what you’re thinking, “Adam says [...]

Mar 022010
Adam's Crawl Space: Beer For My Horses

Let me preface the review by saying that I am not a fan of Toby Keith. I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child then listen to his music. Quit hyperventilating, I could say worse. Alright no I can’t, but at least I stole that line from David Cross, [...]

Feb 232010
Adam's Crawl Space: Day of the Dead (2008) with Bonus Mini-Reviews!

Aside from a few of the character names and an insulting nod to zombie test subject Bub, nothing else from the original is carried over to the remake of Day of the Dead by director Steve Miner.  No bunker, no bickering, and most importantly there was neither care given nor pride taken in the story.  [...]

Feb 162010
Adam's Crawl Space: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr.

Dear Family, Friends and beloved readers of the Breach,
The world is not an easy place to live.  There are sequels to movies that did not need sequels, and then there are sequels to movies that unlock dark places that I did not know existed.  As I sit here writing these last words, I must urge [...]

Feb 092010
Adam's Crawl Space: Hannah Montana: The Movie

For starters: you’re welcome. I know a lot of you out there are probably just a wee bit chickenshit and will never permit yourself to watch the cinematic masterpiece that is Hannah Montana: The Movie. I thought I was one of those people as well, I really did. But the way I like to look at it is that I’m the bigger man here. I’m not afraid to put what little masculinity I have on hold for an hour and forty minutes. While holding back tears towards the end of the movie, I was afraid that the very masculinity I hit the pause button on might never come back.

Read the rest after the jump!

Feb 022010
Adam's Crawl Space: Hollow Man 2

First off…Holy shit.  Ok.
The original Hollow Man was actually somewhat interesting.  It was Paul Verhoeven’s take on the Invisible Man, and featured Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Caine leading a team of scientists in researching invisibility.  Caine decides to use himself as the test subject because he’s an arrogant prick and ends up slowly going nuts [...]

Jan 262010
Adam's Crawl Space: 17 Again

Welcome readers, to the first review of hopefully many that will reside in the Media Breach’s new column, Adam’s Crawl Space.  Now, exactly what the title of this column means I’d prefer to leave open to interpretation.  The image that comes to mind personally is that of me, huddled in my dark, creepy ‘crawl space,’ [...]