Adam’s Crawl Space: Justin Bieber – My World 2.0

Adam's Crawl Space, Film, Music Add comments

Jun 102010

Before I officially start up this review, I just wanted to take note of all the eye-rolling that must be going on right now. ¬†You probably saw the review pop up on your facebook or twitter feed and you‚Äôre like, ‚ÄúAww man what the fuck?‚Äù. ¬†But you clicked on it anyway and now here you are. ¬†Hah!

I like to believe I keep myself pretty current on most things pop-culture. ¬†Problem is, I don‚Äôt really bother keeping up with actual ‚Äòpop‚Äô music. ¬†That‚Äôs probably why this Justine Bieber came out of nowhere for me in the past few months. ¬†Did I say Justine? ¬†I apologize. ¬†He‚Äôs a somewhat effeminate prepubescent little guy, easy mistake to make. ¬†Actually, as of this review he‚Äôs probably hit puberty. ¬†Congratulations Justin! Enjoy your newfound awkwardness! I‚Äôm sorry, I hope you don‚Äôt mind if I listen to this CD while I write this. ¬†I‚Äôve really got to keep the volume low though because I don‚Äôt exactly want to send the wrong message to those that reside in the apartment here with me. ¬†I don‚Äôt want to spend half an hour explaining this shit. ¬†The more I rationalize the creepier I‚Äôll get. ¬†Let‚Äôs move on.

Ok, so, back to the Bieb. ¬†I call him that. ¬†Work with me. ¬†Everyone (but me until recently) pretty much knows the kid‚Äôs story. ¬†He was discovered on YouTube, hooked up with Usher and then BAM he was cranking out the sweetest, sweet pop sweetness you‚Äôve ever heard. ¬†He‚Äôs pretty much the male answer to Miley Cyrus. ¬†Now, the cool thing here is that he was not launched into stardom by American Idol, or some other asshat reality show talent search. ¬†People liked his YouTube videos, and that got him his current gig. ¬†I think that‚Äôs pretty awesome. ¬†I can get on board with it. ¬†His manager had him keep releasing intentionally crappy ‚Äòhomemade‚Äô videos as a way to get him more pub before really breaking him wide open to the public. ¬†That‚Äôs just a tad shady and dishonest, but that‚Äôs what managers do.

Shit, hold on. ¬†My fucking SONG is on right now. ¬†Yeah, Bieb. ¬†Work that shit. ¬†Oh, how rude of me. ¬†Allow me to reprint the passage of this song that is moving me so. ¬†It‚Äôs from, ‚ÄòUp‚Äô and it fucking speaks to me, man:

We make the sun shine in the moonlight
We can make the gray clouds into blue skies
I know its hard
But baby believe me
That we can go

That is powerful, profound stuff, people. ¬†We can go NOWHERE but up, guys. ¬†Quit worrying about your stressful jobs or whether or not you‚Äòre going to be able to pay the rent because you blew the last bit of cash you had on that 8-ball. ¬†The Bieb knows that shit is going to be ok, and that should be all you need. ¬† He‚Äôs also a relationship expert. ¬†Ever feel like you just can‚Äôt get it right with your significant other? ¬†Well so does Justin. ¬†From ‚ÄòStuck in the Moment‚Äô:

See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was our destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don’t care I got you baby

I don‚Äôt know about you, but I‚Äôm not aware of anyone else on the current pop landscape that can namedrop Adam & Eve in a break-up tune. ¬†If you‚Äôre not convinced at this point that J-Bieb is the real deal, then I don‚Äôt know what will convince you. ¬†Oh, I get it. ¬†Some of you don‚Äôt really care about his little pretty boy persona he‚Äôs got going and require a more ‚Äòhardcore‚Äô approach to music. ¬†Well hold onto your dicks, people, because Beibs has what you need. ¬†How about a track with Ludacris guesting on it? ¬†Biebster says you are WELCOME:

Oh I was starstruck
She woke me up daily
Don’t need no Starbucks
She made my heart pound

Are you guys digesting any of this? ¬†Ludacris doesn‚Äôt need fucking Starbucks because his woman is a substitute for caffeine! ¬†I had something like that going with an old girlfriend once. ¬†I didn‚Äôt drink coffee for like 2 whole days. I could sit here and just keep riffing on how great Justin Bieber is, honestly. ¬†I‚Äôm not joking when I say that I‚Äôve listened to My World 2.0 three times through just for the sake of this review. ¬† That isn‚Äôt counting the time I‚Äôve had it going while I‚Äôm writing this either. ¬†If you‚Äôre not one of the 200 million Americans or Canadians that have already purchased My World or My World 2.0, then get your ass on iTunes and do yourself a favor. ¬†The Bieb loves you, so show him some love back. ¬†Unless of course you‚Äôre a jerk and you‚Äôre not into being enlightened by a 16 year old girl with a penis.

Mini Reviews!!

Taking Woodstock -

It‚Äôs got Demetri Martin as the kid who was apparently the catalyst for the original Woodstock happening where it did. ¬†The movie is just ‚Äòok‚Äô. ¬†It won‚Äôt anger you or anything, but it‚Äôs just so fucking middle of the road and really bland. ¬†It certainly thinks it‚Äôs a lot deeper than it really ends up being. ¬†Ang Lee directs so at least it looks pretty! ¬†All the psychedelic shit is pretty rad, but other than‚Ä¶eh don‚Äôt bother.

Alice in Wonderland -

If you‚Äôve seen some of my recent facebook or twitter updates you probably guessed that I hated this movie. ¬†I‚Äôve cooled off a little bit on it after thinking for the last few days. ¬†Yes, the cgi is offensively bad most of the time and yes Tim Burton can suck a fat one, but I don‚Äôt outright hate it anymore. ¬†It‚Äôs just too plain and boring to even be worth getting upset about. ¬†It‚Äôs a harmless, stupid little movie. ¬†SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT: Johnny Depp dances this silly little hip-hop inspired dance in the end. ¬†Even if I were on board with this movie, that would‚Äôve negated the entire thing. ¬†I hate you, Tim Burton. ¬†I still love you, Johnny Depp. ¬†Even though that dance was really, really awful.