I‚Äôd like to preface this by saying that this stand-up special consistently pops up in Netflix‚Äôs ‚ÄòLocal Favorites‚Äô section. ¬†I live in San Antonio, TX, so I suppose this makes sense. ¬†I’d also like to point out that any references to gay or racial slurs found in the review are merely to point out the nature of this guy’s act and reflect the material itself. ¬†Also, I‚Äôm reviewing this because it‚Äôs a favorite*¬† of our very own Breach writer/part-time podcaster James!
Alex Reymundo is one of those comics who really is a dime a dozen.  He’s billed as one of the Latin Kings of Comedy, but really all that means is he’s one of the more popular racist and homophobic asshole comedians who gets away with his jokes under the guise of  ‘telling it like it is.’  If you’re a comic whose jokes always end with, “right??” (or occasionally verdad in his case) then you are more than likely a half-wit who is relying on the easiest and lowest form of stand-up comedy possible.
Look, I’m certainly no stick in the mud when it comes to comedy.  I’m not some politically correct douche bag that can’t take a joke, and I’m not allergic to anything offensive.   It’d be easy for me to just tell you that these types of jokes  aren’t my thing, but that really isn’t the case.  You can do racial humor all you want, as long as your jokes are coming from the right place.  The best kind of racial humor is the kind that borders on, or extends beyond the absurd.  If your jokes are in on themselves, that’s the type of “racial joking” that I can live with.  I’m a fan of people like David Cross and Sarah Silverman who are experts at this technique.  Edgy humor is not telling the world how much gay people love to suck dick, nor is it reminding us all that Mexican folks love to eat tacos.  Verdad?
This is Alex Reymundo’s first filmed stand-up special, and in case you couldn’t tell by the title of it, One Funny Hick-Spanic,  he’s the Latino answer to Larry the Cable Guy.  That title and this revelation should be all most of you need to know and you’d just move along, shake your head and go on about your business.  I can see some of you possibly getting drunk some day, or perhaps being at the friends house who always has to show you whatever he or she thinks is funny, and ‘accidentally’ watching this shit.  This is your heads up should you find yourself in one of those situations.
Reymundo opens his special with a dramatized and condensed depiction of his life growing up and how he got where he is today as the king of bad beaner jokes.  It actually starts off innocently enough, until we see the scene in which his fake dramatized mother gives his fake dramatized father a blow-jay in order to convince him to move to America.  I have to give the guy props for being cool with actors playing his parents engaging in this kind of thing.  Clearly, he’s comfortable with the idea of his parents fucking.   This goes on for 3 or 4 minutes and is pretty much a Mexican version of a Benny Hill sketch.  You’re actually happy to see this asshole finally come out and perform.
Before Alex takes the stage though, he’s not introduced traditionally but is sort of played in by some redneck shredding on a guitar.  I’m not one to denounce a long-hair for playing some wicked hot licks on his gee-tar,but this was just screaming at me, warning me to turn this fucking thing off immediately.  Or it was one of the most unintentionally funny things ever, I can’t really decide.  Alex hits the stage, and we see that he’s clearly a Mexican man; he has long hair, blue jeans, and is obviously primed to fire off some jokes that only your drunk retarded cousin will laugh at.   What does he open with?  He opens with a solid 20 minutes of just straight up old school shitty beaner jokes.   I bet you’ve never heard a sexually suggestive Mexican themed riff on the old UPS slogan, ‘What can brown do you?” have you?  Yeah.  Oh, did you hear the one about Mexicans having large families?  Or maybe the one about all Mexicans drinking tequila?  It’s all here, ladies and gentlemen.   He also has a revelation about Pier 1 imports.  Originally he thought everything there was made in Taiwan but it turns out, it was actually made BY JUAN!  Isn’t that a funny, clever little bit he did there?  Motherfuck this asshole.
From there he effortlessly segues into the patented gay humor that so much of these dim motherfuckers are scarily good at. ¬†He reminds us all that there is no such thing as a gay man with bad skin. ¬†Why you ask? ¬†Because semen is like lotion, bitch! ¬†It‚Äôs good for the skin!! ¬†All gay people are into face frosting, you didn‚Äôt know that? ¬†Why aren’t you faggots laughing? ¬†Fags. ¬†Hey don‚Äôt look at me, I‚Äôm just paraphrasing what he‚Äôs already said in front of thousands of dumbasses. ¬†There was one gay joke that I have to print word for word here though because it‚Äôs so easy and so remarkably unfunny, here it is:
“Starbucks brings out the gay gene in people. ¬†If you ever hear me order a latte, do me in the ass that day!”
Now, if this guy is anything like Larry the Cable Guy or that other stain on the comedic mattress, Carlos Mencia, then his entire persona is horribly exaggerated or possibly totally made up.  Since this is most likely the case, he no doubt, like every other average American, orders a latte at Starbucks from time to time.  I can only hope that one of his fans takes him up on this when they see him in a Starbucks. “Hey, Alex!!!!  You’re here to get a latte, too?  Holy shit, dude!  You realize what this means, right?”  Now, does Alex Reymundo deserve anal rape by a crazed fan who took his joke too seriously?  Yeah, pretty much.
The show is thankfully only 59 minutes in length, and when he’s done with his racial and gay bits (he’s never really done, it just tapers off some) he devotes the rest of his set to telling us how much of a family man he is.  He also draws colorful pictures of his “hillbilly wife” and the rest of their inbred, hick family.  The majority of the final minutes of the show is really about how he loves his kids even though they’re eternal cockblockers and the hilarious fact that they mix and match English and Spanish because they’re half white.
This really was painful for me to watch.  I know I sound like some comedic elitist here, and I’m going to embrace that and explain for a moment.  It has taken decades for me to cultivate my taste in comedy.  It started with discovering Bill Hicks, and then really just never stopped.  I heard that guy and was like, “well, this guy just ripped the entire world a new asshole, was funny, AND made me think about it.”  From then on it kept growing.  I like comics like the aforementioned David Cross and Sarah Silverman, I like Patton Oswalt and Louis C.K.  You know, people who are funny with reckless abandon and also have some kind of filthy way to enrich and expand your mind a bit.
In short, never watch this.  Never accidentally watch it.  Just never.  Don’t.
*James doesn’t actually like this guy.¬† Don’t kill me, James.
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