Adam’s Crawl Space: 17 Again

Jan 262010

17again Welcome readers, to the first review of hopefully many that will reside in the Media Breach‚Äôs new column, Adam‚Äôs Crawl Space.¬† Now, exactly what the title of this column means I‚Äôd prefer to leave open to interpretation.¬† The image that comes to mind personally is that of me, huddled in my dark, creepy ‚Äòcrawl space,‚Äô if you will (me in my bedroom and a laptop), and watching things that are artistically questionable.¬† Basically shit that you would never expect me to watch and review, I‚Äôm going to.¬† It won‚Äôt all be Olsen twins movies (although those are definitely coming) but it will as I said, be films that shouldn‚Äôt necessarily be called ‚Äòfilms‚Äô.

First up in the Crawl Space is 17 Again with Zac Efron.¬† This one has been on my mind to review for quite some time actually, even before I had the idea for the column.¬† I have this sick fascination with body swapping flicks but I don‚Äôt necessarily like them.¬† I guess maybe the only one I did like was Big. ¬†The one I remember absolutely hating the shit out of was Vice Versa with Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage.¬† I was at the height of my Fred Savage hatred at the time due to his never-ending fuckheadedness with Winnie Cooper on the Wonder Years.¬† Am I the only one that was constantly yelling at Fred to just seal the damn deal already?¬† Squeaky voiced little prick. ¬†Body swapping flicks are generally terrible movies, and I expected this to be no different.

17 Again opens minutes before Mike O‚ÄôDonnell‚Äôs (Zac Efron) big basketball game.¬† It‚Äôs not exactly clear what game this is, but it‚Äôs made known that there is a college scout in the crowd.¬†¬† The movie already won big points for me this early because Jim Gaffigan is the head coach of the basketball team.¬† It was Gaffigan riffing on a coach character he used to do in his stand-up, which as a Gaffigan fan made me giddy.¬†¬† It also employs the tactic of the hot jock guy, which is Efron, having the nerdy best friend who no girl on Earth will fuck.¬† This guy is Ned Gold, played briefly¬†by Tyler Steelman.¬† I‚Äôm a little sick of this clich√©, but the movie is full of them so what the fuck ever.¬† So moments before the game starts, Mike‚Äôs girlfriend Scarlett (Allison Miller) really needs to talk to him.¬† She does the girl thing and tells him nevermind invoking the fact that he‚Äôs about to play the biggest game of his life. ¬†Of course you can‚Äôt do this to a guy.¬† You can‚Äôt go ‚Äúwe need to talk‚Äù before he has to go be a manly man and throw balls in a metal hole and then pull back and say it can wait.¬† Its emotional blue balls, ladies.¬† Mike says fuck it, you have to tell me, and she lays it on him: she‚Äôs pregnant.¬† Mike‚Äôs first reaction is to recoil in horror and go play his basketball game.¬† However on the opening possession, he just stands there dribbling like an idiot and then runs after his beloved Scarlett pledging his life to her and their new baby, thus creating years of ‚Äòwhat ifs‚Äô for himself.

This isn‚Äôt exactly the most complex movie, so the rest is pretty easy to figure out.¬† We cut to years later, and find that Mike (now played inexplicably by fug-ass Matthew Perry) is about to be divorced, his kids hate him, and he‚Äôs temporarily shacking up with his gazillionaire nerd friend Ned.¬† Ned¬† invented the internet or some shit; who fucking cares.¬† He has a lot of money and is about as stereotypical as a movie nerd can get.¬† He likes Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and plays PC games.¬† Thomas Lennon of The State and Reno 911 plays Ned and is the only reason I didn‚Äôt hate the character.¬† He took a fucking stupid piece of shit role and made it rather funny.¬†¬† Mike continues to whine about how awesome he would‚Äôve been if he had just played in that game and been scouted and gone to college. ¬†And with the help of a mystical spirit-guide janitor at his old high school, he wakes up one morning as his old 17 year old self.¬† The rest of the movie is as to be expected- it‚Äôs just a setup for one age gag after another and deals with his quest to either go back and relive his glory or use this as an opportunity to get his family back.¬† Leslie Mann plays the older Scarlett and really who doesn’t love Leslie Mann?¬† I thought so.¬† Who really gives a fuck about all this plot shit though, am I right?¬† I rented this movie to see Zac Efron with his shirt off and thankfully it delivers.¬† Seriously, I didn‚Äôt “get” the whole Efron thing before I watched this and now I totally do.¬† I expected the kid to be a wooden pretty boy and instead, the only thing that was wooden while watching this was me.¬† Ok that was uncalled for.¬† I beg you to at least finish reading the review, don‚Äôt leave.¬† Where are you going?

There are some funny scenes and Efron carries the movie completely.¬† I don‚Äôt understand the decision to cast Matthew Perry as the older Mike since Perry is pretty much a bland, average looking douche bag with a constant smirk on his face.¬† Actually, it‚Äôs almost as if the look on his face is a reaction to his own acting- he‚Äôs serviceable at best.¬† You guys know what look I‚Äôm talking about, he did it for 35 fuckin‚Äô years on NBC‚Äôs Friends as Chanandler Bong. ¬†Jan from the Office is in this, looking hot as usual.¬† What I wouldn‚Äôt give to just hang out in her shirt for 20 minutes.¬† No, no, sit down.¬† You wanted this fucking review, now finish it.¬† The kid who plays Silas in Weeds is also in this as the token school bully/jock/boyfriend of Mike O‚ÄôDonnell‚Äôs daughter.¬† He‚Äôs a decent actor, but I couldn‚Äôt shake my hatred for the Silas character from that second and third season of Weeds.

There is a scene in this film that is either a straight up rip or an homage to the scene in Lea Thompson‚Äôs bedroom in Back to the Future.¬† You know the one, where Marty is retelling his horrible dream only to find out he‚Äôs still in 1955 and his mom wants to jump on his dork.¬† I‚Äôd like to think it‚Äôs an homage but you can never tell with movies like this anymore.¬† I would encourage you all to check this movie out.¬† It‚Äôs actually really fun, and mostly clean. ¬†If you have kids, there are a few sex jokes but nothing too disgusting.¬† Nothing like this review has been at least.¬† I can‚Äôt stress enough just how flat-out charismatic that Zac Efron is.¬† I know he‚Äôs going to keep doing these kinds of movies, but I‚Äôd really like to see him in something legit because it looks like when pushed he‚Äôs got some real talent in that hot ass body of his.

Check it out.¬† It has Jim Gaffigan collecting his paycheck, Zac Efron‚Äôs delicious eyes, Jan from the Office, and Matthew Perry‚Äôs “there‚Äôs a squirrel taking a shit in my pants” facial expression.¬† I promise you that you will love it. ¬†Oh, and SPOILER ALERT: Everything works out in the end. ¬†As if you didn’t know that would happen.